One Hundred Dollars

Kristin and I were musing the other day about priorities, friendships, and family.  We were discussing how do we decide how much time and energy on the things we care about versus not getting caught up in the petty bullshit of every day life.

This remind me of the $100 bill approach.  I shamelessly stole this idea from another blog or book I read at some point.  You only have so much time, energy to devote to the various components of your life.  That $100 bill represents the time, energy, and money you allocate to the aspects of life that are important to you.

Spend a minute and think, what are things you spend “negative” energy on?  Some extreme examples:

  • Going to work and coping with a bad manager or team
  • Dealing with daily stress and anxiety in an unhealthy manner: smoking, drugs, alcohol, etc…
  • Listening to whiny people

Spend another minute and think, what are the things that are important to you long term?  My favorites:

  • Personal health
  • A meaningful relationship with your spouse
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Financial independence

Each day you’re faced with how you will spend your energy.  Will you spend it on the good things in your life, or spend it on the negative things?

Take that $100 and plan an energy/time budget.  You invest $30 on your spouse, $30 on your career, $20 on family, and now you’re left with $20.  What are you doing to do with that $20?

I decide that I’ll spend that last $20 on myself.  I want to get in shape, so I use the rest of my budget to get me to the running trail every day after work.

That $20 is magical.

Why?  Because it begets a lot of other things that are important to me.  Spending that energy on a run every day means, I get in shape, it helps me be in a better mood for my spouse, family, and my job , and if I look hard enough, I find friends that enjoy the same hobby.

I’d rather spend the $20 of energy on positive things versus spending that $20 of energy in drowning my sorrows with cheap scotch, waking up, and nursing a raging hangover (because of said, cheap scotch).  I’m not going to spend that $20 on things that drag me down or keep me from doing things that help other priorities in my life, unless the scotch is really, really, good.

Saying yes or no to things can be checked against my budget.  Should I have that extra beer at dinner or go to bed early for my morning run?  Should I hang out with that person that drags me down, or spend the time with my spouse and family?

It’s not always so cold and calculated.  Being human means we bend the rules and do what’s best for the moment.  Out of this exercise you begin to realize why it’s easier to say no to things and it’s also easier for you to accept when people say no to you.

Spend that $100 wisely.

Why?

 

Why is a good question.

On a whim, I can think of a lot of reasons.  But if I had to chose one that sticks out the most, because fuck everyone else.

I grew up the fat, angry (probably still angry according to my friends and family), bullied, minority kid.  Always picked last, never understood sports or playing on a team.  My personality always lends to it, I hate taking orders from people, “looking up” to a team captain, or following.  I prefer blazing my own path at my own pace, instead of someone telling me what, how, or when to jump.  Combine my lack of empathy for sports with poor coordination and uncanny ability to end up on the losing team, it all adds up to solid reinforcement model to stay away from team sports in the first place.

After losing all my weight by running, triathlon seemed right up my alley.  If I could go from a complete fat-ass and lose 100lbs, what’s next on life’s to-do list?

Triathlon.  Obviously.

It’s as lone-wolf or team-oriented as you want.  Only you suffer through the pain.   Only you can suffer through the long training runs, broken toe nails, and being cold, lonely, and hungry on your long training rides.  It’s you and the road baby, and there’s something intoxicating that you are beholden to no one but yourself for those long training hours.

It was another challenge, proving to myself with discipline, a plan, and facing my fears of the unknown, I can do whatever I put my mind to.  What a better way to say fuck you to all those people who chose me last, who told me I’m not good enough, who always told me no?  Let’s prove them wrong.  Especially the folks that told me to settle and be mediocre.

I’m looking at you, high school college counselor.

So a 1/2 Ironman it is.   And the 1/2 is the only way to go since it’s the logical step into the inevitable full Ironman race.

A few decent races of various distances, lots of good laughs and trials with friends that helped and supported me along the way, and a few patched inner tubes later, I arrived and conquered my first 70.3 distance race.  No podium finish, no finish-line kiss, no cameras flashing.  Just me, nauseated, and trying to eat a dried out barbecue chicken sandwich, finisher’s medal in hand.

But, I do owe a small thanks to the naysayers in my life.

With all the crap I was put through, it made me stronger.  It made me the strong-willed person I am today.  I use it as a constant motivation when I go through life, tackling new challenges and taking on new adventure.

Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and do things for yourself.  Sometimes, it’s the only way to get shit done.  Life, as we’re all coming to find, is bittersweet, so enjoy the ride.